1/2 a day to go......

That's me at my deployment base now, I'm tucked up in bed and trying to get some sleep; I doubt I will get much though.

I have decided that I was going to take a big bag and a foot locker this time (no its not a locker filled with feet, lol) I have got all my little home comforts this deployment such as my iPod speakers, decaff tea bags, white pepper (don't ask!), first aid kit, extra t shirts, etc, etc. I have got it all packed away in a certain way now so that when I get to the other end and there are delays (normally always is) I have the essentials to hand. So my wash kit, sleeping bag, laptop, documents and clean T-shirt & underwear are in my hand luggage. That should sort me out for a day worth of delays. Maybe its my slight OCD but I always meticulously plan what I need and when and cater for all the what ifs. We have a saying in the military called the 6 P's. Prior Preparation Prevents P*ss Poor Performance.
That's what deploying is all about, preparation. Its nuts really, 3 months before I deploy I have to get the first bits and pieces started such as leave, ordering kit and starting various training packages/courses. From then on the list gets bigger and bigger. I reckon I have about 50 hoops to jump through and organise. Drives me bonkers every time I go away.

So how am I feeling just now then? Well I have had a couple of beers to try and help me nod off as I don't normally sleep well at all. Its a combination or nerves, anticipation, the unknown, impatience and a little bit of worry. Its weird to explain, the only time I remember feeling like this is when I was told I was going to be having a fight after school with one of the school bullies. You know what's coming and its going to be rubbish but you still have apprehension and nerves. I also worry about things back home, some little things, some big things. These things can prey on your mind a little, even although they sound silly. They range from deaths/illness in the family, car breaking down, not being there for my girlfriend for "man" things like getting things from the top shelf in the kitchen, how everyone is coping with me being away, the dog dying, me having an accident or being killed, unexpected bills etc, etc.

The list does get kind of long and at times ridiculous, most things you can forward plan for. Things like making a will, writing letters to family for if something happens, getting the car serviced, bills paid etc. Somethings you just have to accept are out with your control as well. Last year my dad had a minor heart attack (he might not have told you as he hates talking about it) and I was torn between trying to get home, supporting my family, shafting one of my mates at very short notice, getting a very important job done and not letting people down. I try to compartmentalise things, its not always easy when you have up to 9 weeks to think things over and over and over with no interruptions or distractions. The flip side though, you can sort a lot of things in your own head as well. Its great thinking time for big decisions as you can think things through in great detail.

I'm just about to try and get my head down for some sleep, hopefully it will come.